Seventh grader Frankie's life is thrown into turmoil when she inadvertently opens her widowed father's email and discovers he has met and become interested in a woman. In an attempt to thwart their romance, she replies to the woman's messages with all sorts of untrue information about her father and younger brothers.
Of her brothers, she writes, they have diarrhea every minute of the day and are genetically disposed to being mean to adult females. She then tells her that her father is chronically ill, so kissing him is a bad idea. Besides, he just became engaged to someone else. The woman is a zookeeper specializing in naked mole rats. How she handles Frankie's correspondence and helps her solve many other junior high disappointments and issues is a hilarious treat to read.